Thinking

Dear blog, feel much better today even though not entirely better, but somehow it helps. Is it true or not? Well, I think I will go ahead with e consultation, no...not with e psychiatrist.....have not reach to up that level yet....lol Will talk to someone, but maybe not now. Think when I'm fully ready. Than I will let everything out......cry my heart out, vent my anger out, so I feel much and much better. Indeed I act as if nothing happen, but inside.....?

Anyway, I didn't think about it much when I come to work, because tons and tons of work needs to be done, till I don't even have the time to think about it.

I wanted to go somewhere or anywhere, but donno where? Keep going to the same place that I'm even bored with it.

Akon - Sorry, Blame It On Me

Another Day Has Gone

Another wasted day is gone, staying at home doing absolutely nothing. Still furious , I guess.....about things happening yesterday. Am I that STUPID!!!!!! Donno y........but what if one day god granted e wishes and make me really STUPID?????

It is not that I'm stupid...I'm just worried about something else, that it slipped my mind to check e things which I'm supposed to check. Sigh......it hurts me deeply.....it's like a sharp knife piercing thru my heart. E pain is so unbearable. Till now, it hurts very bad. Not e first time, not e second time, I totally lost counts.

Pls qoute, "I'm very disappointed in you"!! What e hell did I do till u're so disappointed with me???I am truly, extremely hurt. No one to turn to talk to. Just keep to myself. I'm afraid, I won't be able to hold it any longer. FYI, I still do have feelings which needs attention, care and loved just like other women despite, I'm being disabled. These feeling has missing for yearssss now, not sure will it ever come back. It seems like, I am to blame for everything that went wrong even though it is not my fault. Well, I'm just taking the blame, maybe tat is y I'm there for. So u can put e blame on me.....Should there anything that goes or went wrong, I am to blame for it. I'm so stressed, frustrated now.....

This month is e most horrible month for me......feel like shutting up myself in an empty room and cry and cry and cry my heart out.

Thank you blog.....for listening